Use and the Stamp of Nature

I find myself less inclined to write blog entries the older I get. It’s funny to think that this blog has existed in various forms for over ten years — although with some of the more embarrassing entries deleted — and has documented an arc in my intellectual life as I’ve become what passes for a full-fledged adult. People don’t really read blogs anymore, mine least of all. So it probably matters very little that I don’t register my two cents on current events or issues as often as I used to.

There are a few reasons for this. Firstly I write less in general than I used to, and when I do, I tend to want to save that writing for a print project of some kind, a zine or an upcoming book. Secondly, as it concerns writing about political subjects or current events, I feel much less certain of things than I ever have. When I was younger, things seemed much more clear-cut than they do now and I could sit down for an angry hour and rattle off an essay with a direct conclusion. Each time I sit down to write something now, I second-guess myself until I have convinced myself that I am either not knowledgable enough to write about the subject, or that the issue is too complex to explain in a blog entry, or that my opinion means so little to anyone else that I may accomplish the same effect by thinking about the issue alone in my room.

When I was younger, I possessed a peculiar blend of confidence in my ability to express an idea and lack of concern as to whether that idea was expressed perfectly. Now that combination has been inverted. I am much less confident about my writing and also much more concerned with polishing a piece to perfection.

I am now trying very hard to get back into the habit of writing more often, not because I think that an eager mass of readers is awaiting my perspective on every significant issue, but rather to build the habit of sitting down to write consistently. The hope is that each time I sit down to write, it will lend an easiness to the act, that use will change the stamp of my lazy nature.

I will try my hardest to use this blog more as a sounding board and less as a place for polished, finished pieces. Hopefully the uptick in quantity will balance the possible drop off in quality.