Pescetarian Genocide

The biggest bummer about being vegan is this: you have to constantly be coddling other peoples’ guilt complexes about the fact that they’re not. I’d say most people are aware of the fact that veganism is the right thing to do, regardless of whether or not they’ll say it out loud. So as soon as you tell someone you’re vegan, the first they want to do is tell you 1. why they ‘could never do that’, and 2. how much they do for the cause and how much they love animals.
So, here is where your argument turns into a pile of dog shit: Anyone can be vegan, it’s so easy you should be ashamed of yourself. When people tell me they don’t have the willpower to be vegan I look at them as though they said they have trouble counting numbers into the double digits. Amira is fucking allergic to soy and she’s vegan, tell me your excuse?
Second, if you’re not doing the simplest, easiest, most basic tenet of the animal rights lifestyle, you’re a joke. Don’t talk to me about your volunteer work at the pound, or whatever. I don’t care. You don’t care about animals if you eat meat. Shut up you sound like a god damned fool.
Which brings me to my next point, people that are total pussies, namely vegetarians. If you are a vegetarian for any reason other than as a transition toward being vegan, you need your head examined. Either decide to care or decide to be a stupid nihilist. Fence-sitting your whole life is nothing to be proud of.
But really my strongest hatred is for the few select people who call themselves Pescetarians. People who eat fish because they don’t consider it meat. Sometimes these people call themselves “vegetarians who eat fish”, which makes me want to puke on them.
I’m not gonna lie to you, being vegan is the easiest thing I’ve ever done, and it makes people who can’t even follow through with real vegetarianism look like they’re riding the morality school short bus.
Reasons you should stop eating seafood:
1. Because it’s fucking meat, stupid.
2. Because it’s full of fucking mercury, stupid.
3. Because commercial fishing destroys the oceans and subsequently, the whole fucking planet.
4. Because octopi, dolphins, and whales are all smarter than your dog.
5. Because I fucking said so.